Yet Untitled 148 - When We Fight
Thinking about Wars between Two People vs Wars between Two Countries
Dearest Yet Untitler,
This present instalment is about Conflict.
I don’t have to nudge you to guess why this is my hot topic of the week. The subcontinent where I dwell was definitely not singing the theme tune of “Mr. Roger’s Neighbourhood” all of last week!
It’s a ramble. But we’ve known each other for long enough now for you to indulge me 😄. Welcome to new YUers - you’ll tune in to the groove soon. Welcome.
Countries fight. As do people.
People fight. As do countries.
Vani and I fight. As it goes.
We have been known to declare war on each other. Like countries do.
We say one thing to the other but mean something else. So it is with countries.
We hurl words at each other like projectiles. These words can inflict damage. Countries do the same, with other kinds of projectiles. Exploding ones.
Sometimes, we threaten each other, hoping that the threat in itself will win us the day. Countries, as we know, aren’t averse to such things.
One country may try to have its way with another country by threatening to take something away from it. Have she and I not restarted to such strategies in the past, in both subtle and banal ways?
Sometimes, we don’t talk to each other and blame our fight on the other’s silence. I’ve seen countries do that too.
Many times, we forget why we’re fighting in the first place, continuing only because it feels important to maintain the upper hand. Of course, this too happens between countries.
Vani and I survive our conflicts. Exhausted, we inch back, offering each other subtle openings towards peace, which we sometimes take and sometimes do not. This, as I’ve seen, is not an uncommon scenario between countries as well.
In our experience, coming back from conflict involves both remembering and forgetting. Remembering - every aspect of our co-existence where our lives are greater than the sum of their parts. Forgetting - all visible scars, debris and memory of our past wars.
Countries can do this too. I believe it’s a choice.
Countries, in the end are made up of people like Vani and me and I believe that there is an irrefutable chain of causality connecting the peace between us and the greater peace around us.
So, this much I know - no matter how difficult the remembering, no matter how difficult the forgetting - I will always fight for this peace, for within it lies everything that’s worthwhile.
Everything.
Thanks for listening,
Lots of love
V
P.S. Thank you
, this installment was encourage by your 100 day challenge that I benefit greatly from participating in.P.P.S - What’s your anti-nuke that diffuses an escalated conflict between you and your partner / someone close? What’s worked in the past? Share, in the name of peace!
And…
Thank you for the mention. So glad that the 100 day challenge is leading to ideas.
I like how you compare battles within our own lives, eg with a spouse, to country war. Countries are made up of people. We know from our Buddhist practice that if we can root put and face our own negativity then this also ripples out into the wider world