Yet Untitled 105 - Winning in Cricket and in Friendships
“Where’s my personal photographer when I need them??”
Dearest Yet Untitler,
Thirteen years ago, the Indian cricket team won the world cup. It was April 1st, 2011. I was with my wife’s family in Delhi, watching the final on TV like literally every other Indian alive. It was a tense scenario, with everyone’s nerves exposed, their emotions quite naked. For me, this was more interesting than the cricket itself. I had my camera, so, of course…
And then we won. Again. My family’s response to the win was more interesting to me than the win itself. Nobody cared that my camera was trained on them. They didn’t mind me photographing their endearing (and slightly mad) joy.
Yesterday, India won the T20 World Cup for the second time. I had just boarded a Mumbai-bound international flight full of Indians. We were poised to win against South Africa, so in anticipation, I kept my phone camera ready. Again, I was more interested in everyone’s response to the win than the win itself.
Then, we won:)
I find this kind of cue quite useful in my photography, to turn and look at people looking; when their attention is completely captivated by something.
There was a book of photos in my school library by a young black photographer who had trained his camera on his family during a funeral where they had all lost a young member to gun violence. Chat GPT couldn’t help me find the book’s title, it exists and I remember it well. In it, there were scenes of heartfelt grief that was bigger than caring about some kid taking photos his camera.
Even the photographer James Nachtwey commented on his lifelong commitment to photographing people suffering on account of war in the documentary War Photographer, saying he was in tune with his subjects’ need for wanting their story told (though a lot of times, I feel, it could have been that in the moments he chose - the predominant emotions were too big for his subjects to care about a man and a camera being present). Just as in the moments of joy when India won the cricket might have been too big to really think about someone recording moments of abandon that may be borderline embarrassing later.
I’m not exactly sure why I’m writing about these things this week, but I’ve been orbiting just these thoughts for a few days. Actually, I’ve been circling this question - why has it been so important for me to reconnect with so many old friends over my holiday? Usually, my vacations are a healthy mix of alone time, activities with family and a few reunions with whoever happens to be around. This time, I found that I went out of my way to see people, feeling: it’s important for me to see them - but I couldn’t understand why.
While the impulse itself - wanting to see friends - isn’t really out of the ordinary; the motivation that pushed me felt uniquely strong this time. Strong enough to have me investigating it.
If the presence of a photographer can offer a perspective on what a moment means, then perhaps I’m craving a picture of myself that clarifies this strong motivation. With that thought, I started looking through my recent archive.
Of course, I’m taking photos all the time and I have a ton of selfies from the trip, but they don’t tell you even half the story. In the shining, smiling photos below, more than one person depicted recently lost a parent. One has a child who’s been on and off missing for years, struggling with severe mental health concerns. One has a differently abled son who’s just entering puberty and does not know how to handle it. One of them is dealing with the progressive deterioration of their vision.
But these photos do say a lot more when I see them from the lens of this enquiry. They stand testament to the fact that we all made time for each other despite life’s curve balls - or - to carry forward the cricket theme: life’s googlies. Everyone here made room for me while much was going on in their lives. Also: in the past, they’ve been there for me when life bowled me a googly or two. Some travelled distances to be with me at such times, some just sent me a kind word from afar. Some just encouraged me in ways I’ll never forget.
Before and after these happy photos were taken - around the sharing of many joys and sorrows - there was kindness and encouragement shared both ways. I guess that’s the why - in the least amount of words needed - the why behind my wanting to see them.
One of the people featured in the photos above had once said to me (when I asked him what makes them happy) -
“Being able to work with the people I like, doing the things I want to do, and to be able to take good friends out to dinner once in a while.”
This thought was running through my head as I became a google calendarist extraordinaire scheduling every encounter I could around family outings, lovely activities and everything else. What else is there? Meeting everyone made me feel very happy. I think after a few glasses of cider, or wine, we all felt like…
😄
I won’t say much more, dear YUer. Perhaps I’ll leave you with a question. Why is it important for you to stay connected with old friends? Tell me! want to know.
Also, I think Yet Untitled is my true personal photographer. It’s taking truly 3D (4D?) photos of where I’m at each week, capturing the light honestly if not perfectly.
Thanks for listening!
Lots of love
V
Like I said, friendship is the most important thing. Ok ok, perhaps the love and welfare of family might push it into close second. And well maybe cultivating stillness and equanimity in yourself should maybe slip in even above those two. But, once those are in place, I really can't see a point to life if you're not swimming in the deep, warm waters of friendship. This doesn't really answer the "why?" question you asked, but it's definitely my answer to some adjacent question!
Loved this, Vasant! There is something so special about capturing raw emotions. And God knows that night the emotions were high. I felt lumps in my stomach like I was on a roller coaster. What a night!